Girl S is our leader which we voted to be, outside the project, I love to talk and gossip with her and I like the way she talk. In the project, she seemed like holding the power of leading and keep jelling and pushing all of us, gave no scope. We suggested that there was a moderate way to give opinion, but she said that is her way she work, yeah, keeping embarrassing to your teammates.
"Are you listening to me! look at me! What am just said!?"
"You tell me you must finish this before 9pm! Right."
"...I try my best"
"No, you must"
Seems what she said was reasonable for our project, but why no one felt comfortable and encouraged?
Once I said I would like try one part of work which is not exactly my job, I worked over night but still some small bugs cannot be figured out. We were doing project in project room all the day and the rest went sleep.
"Is that what you do over night? seems useless!!"
"...oh, okay, after I get some sleep, I try to fix it, now the brain cannot move"
"what, you leaving? I am about to work"
"..."
Of course you are about to work, you got good sleep when I was working. There is nothing with the sleep, but is the right way to treat you friend, your teammate who volunteer to do the job? You are not Steve Jobs in the early Apple, everyone's work need to be respected.
Last thing made me totally understand we are truly different kind of people and barrier built. In the last presentation, even though we still made some small mistakes, but it was the last for us doing project together, why you still complain to each other? Why can't we return to good friends shake hands and say "well done, good luck to finals"?
What I can say is the difference in characteristic and goals, I more enjoy the process of doing teamwork and hope to build lifelong friendship through it but not the results. Finally I realized that we can be common friends to talk but not close friends to work. Sorry about my garrulousness here.
Hi Zihao!
ReplyDeleteI can understand that some people can have a completely different personality from their usual selves when working on a project as a team. I have met and heard about team leaders who are too assertive and demanding that it is stressful to work with them.
Having empathy for others is important in avoiding conflicts in a team. For the members, it is necessary to understand that being a leader is not easy, as he/she has to bring the group together and ensure work is done correctly and on time. Your friend might be too stressed up in her goal to achieve good results. Similarly, the leader needs to understand the limits of the members and difficulties that they might be facing. Discussing potential issues or problems encountered is crucial for eliminating misunderstandings.
It seems like your friend is tactless when talking about someone's work. It might help if you calmly tell her that it does not feel good when your efforts are not being appreciated, and providing suggestions to improve would be more helpful than criticisms. After all, team members should help one another instead of bringing a member down. You may choose to talk to her as a friend sharing about your feelings while hanging out, or as a team member if either of you are not comfortable with mixing work with personal issues.
Accountability is also key in team work. If every member has high standards and is responsible, it would be much easier for the team to progress. In a team, we need to not only account to ourselves, but to the rest of the members. Keeping to the deadlines set by the team is important so as not to delay the progress. If the target is unrealistic, it could be better to say something like "I can't promise you I'll get it done by that time because (...) but I would do it ASAP." Informing her of your problems can also help her understand that you're not simply slacking off and procrastinating. What is important is that one keeps to his/her word and produce decent work to his/her ability.
I hope that project did not ruin the friendship between the two of you as good friends are hard to come by. :)
Thanks! I very agree the point you mentioned about Accountability is key in team work,every member should hold high standards and show responsibility to the teamwork,at least you must have a good attitude to learn. Maybe for some lazy members, usually happen in Uni, a "iron arm" leader is must for project to meet the deadline. Don't worry, we still good friends. Have a nice day!
DeleteHey ZH!
ReplyDeleteWell, it seems like you've gone through a lot.
Your friend here seems pretty bossy. Well, this could be because she prefers finishing all her work immediately, rather than leave things hanging and accummulated?
Like what Eileen has mentioned, I too think that empathy is very important. Perhaps you could try to see things from her perspective? Maybe she is very busy too, and would like to get this project over and done with.
However, from the way you put it, it seems like her tone and her manner of doing so may be further improved. Well, it depends on how stressed she was as well. Stress can really cripple a r/s.
So in essence, both parties need to work hard to make teamwork a more enjoyable experience.
Cheers!
She seems like me, in this sense. When I receive work, I'll try to finish it on the day itself. In NUS, when work starts to pile up, it can get really stressful! Yiks!
Thanks! I have to say she contributed a lot in the project and did good things what a leader should do, I sure she will be a active employee in future work place and we still good friends. Since the topic is about interpersonal conflict, I try to describe why we think the barriers built between us, considering there should be a better way to communicate so as to make sure the project to be done well, next time the same situation happen, I will make the communication go smoothly as we are improving. Have a nice day!
DeleteHi Zi Hao,
ReplyDeleteI agree with Eileen when she said your friend/group leader might have been a tad assertive and tactless. I think she should learn to empathize with her group members and manage her feelings. We are all adults and we certainly do not like to be treated without due respect.
Anyway, I think you should not abandon the friendship because of the way she was acting during the project. Perhaps, you could have spoken to her (as a friend) about how different she was, when given the responsibility of a leader. (For all you know, she might not even realize that.)
I hope both of you are on good terms now!
Thanks Joel for your understanding, we are still good friend now but, yeah, no working conversation. We all have rights to show our personalities, but since the topic is communication, I thinks it should be a better way to communicate in that situation. Have a nice day!
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Zihao, for this detailed description of a problematic group project situation. You seem to suggest that their were not just different approaches to the work schedule and your teammates' effort at doing things on time, but also different views of what was more important, process or product. As your other readers have noted, understanding each other and then empathizing would seem to be a solid first step.
ReplyDeleteOf course, as I read your scenario I had some of my own questions about your writing, not just from the point of view of grammatical accuracy but more generally this essay's communicative clarity. For example, in the next to last paragraph, am I supposed to infer that during the project team's presentation there was a problem and your team leader didn't even want to shake hands? A bit of editing would have made this clearer.
More importantly, per the assignment, you were supposed to have posed a question for your readers to answer regarding the central problem and how that might have been solved. Did you miss that part of the assignment?
In any case, thank you for sharing.
Thanks Brad for your suggestions and reminding, I will care about in next post. Have a nice day!
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